


read between the lines

by gyoomie



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Library, Alternate Universe - Sports, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Secret Crush, Secret Identity, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-29 11:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20435201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyoomie/pseuds/gyoomie
Summary: “You can’t just steal my heart and run away.” — ryuji, akira, and the repercussions that come from breaking a ceiling. sports scholar/student librarian canon divergence.





	read between the lines

**Author's Note:**

> what gyoomie finished the bulk of a 5k (almost 6k) thing in the span of a week whaaaattttt
> 
> canon divergence in which kamoshida doesn’t exist, ryuji is a sports scholarship student, akira and ann are student librarians, and the phantom thieves are simply characters of a popular manga series (and themed café). expect akiraryuji, akira+ryuji+ann, ryuji+ann, and v minor/implied yusukeann.
> 
> also, tiny disclaimer: i’ve never actually played p5 myself, or watched the anime – a lot of this was self-indulgent hcs, but i did stick to canon as much as possible, including things like school being six days a week and the layout of the library (hence the mention of a ‘renovation’). i did my best =v=)7
> 
> shout-out to **ailee** (blifuys on ao3) for feeding me details while playing the game and basically being my soundboard from idea to completion. we love a multitasking queen ♡

.

**read between the lines**

_(you’re chasing me and we’re getting close  
but i’m not that easy to catch)_

.

‘Great work today,_ Thug_.’

‘I told you not to call me that!’ Skull snaps, scowling when he hears Queen’s laughter from around the corner. She may be his work senior and older than him by a few years, but _damn_ if she doesn’t get on his nerves with her constant nagging and sharp tongue. Just because he screwed up a couple of orders and spilled someone’s dessert earlier...

Skull grumbles as he opens his work locker, loosening his red ascot with deft fingers and taking off his mask with a huff. Honestly, it’s not like he’s _trying_ to fuck up on purpose. It’s – what, his second month on the job? Give him a goddamn break!

After changing back into his school uniform, Skull grabs his bag and hoists it over his shoulders, ready to call it a day – at least until he notices the black-and-red calling card at the bottom of his work locker.

Skull picks it up. Reads it, and pales considerably.

Oh, _fuck_.

.

_I know your secret, Sakamoto Ryuji.  
—Joker_

.

月  
**[ days until end of punishment: 12 ]**

Who could it possibly be?

Ryuji squeezes the tiny book cart into a narrow aisle, trying to keep the wobbling stack of books from falling as his mind wanders. Normally he wouldn’t be the type to panic, but he’s already got two strikes on his record and he can’t afford another one without putting his sports scholarship into jeopardy. No, he can’t let that happen.

It couldn’t be his friends on the track team – or anyone else at school, for that matter. Shujin Academy doesn’t allow its students to take on part-time jobs, so he never told anyone that he’s been working at the Phantom Thieves café. It couldn’t be any of his colleagues working at the café, either – as much as Queen thinks he sucks, they’re _super_ understaffed right now and still need him around to help out.

Ryuji stops re-shelving books for a moment to scratch his cheek. But if it’s not any of them, then who else could this ‘Joker’ be? It could be someone he’d offended before, sure, but realistically, considering his big mouth, that could be _anyone_. More importantly, what could ‘Joker’ possibly want from – _OW!_

‘You’re shelving them in the wrong section, bonehead.’ Ann retracts the hardcover book she’s holding and tucks it back under her arm. ‘What are you doing?’

‘You didn’t have to _hit me_, Takamaki, what the hell,’ Ryuji grouses, nursing his sore head. ‘And cut me some slack – I haven’t been here since the library renovated earlier this year.’

‘You’ve been to the library before this?’ Ann raises her eyebrows. ‘You can _read_?’

‘You dare doubt my smarts?’

‘You broke part of the ceiling in the hallway outside. There’s a _gigantic_ hole there now.’

‘That was an _accident_! I’m paying the price for it now, aren’t I?!’

As Ryuji and Ann continue to sling quips at each other, they make quick work of the books still left on the cart. In a way, even though the library duty punishment is boring as hell and he misses being out on the field already, Ryuji is glad that the student librarian is Ann – even if she does still hold a grudge against him for not paying her back in middle school. At least it’s someone he knows.

‘Kurusu-kun?’ Ann pops her head out from around the shelf. ‘Kurusu-kun! We’re closing up in a bit!’

... And someone he doesn’t. Ryuji wrinkles his nose. ‘You aren’t the only one on duty, Takamaki?’

‘Huh? Of course not.’ She gives him an odd look as they make their way over to the entrance. ‘I mean, it _was_ just me for the longest time, which is fine, I guess, but at the start of this year Kurusu-kun joined. Right, Kurusu-kun?’

‘Right.’

... The kid who’s been unmoving on the study bench by the window for the past few hours or so – and is moving like a sloth towards them at the moment – is a student librarian too. What.

_If you would like me to keep my silence, please contact me at – _

Ryuji sighs and shakes his head. He’s remembering the calling card’s postscript at the weirdest of times now. Clearly there are more pressing things to worry about than some random kid in school.

.

_[**a.rsene** is now your friend on LINE!]_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ im here. what do u want, joker_

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ Took your own sweet time, huh._

.

火  
**[ days until end of punishment: 11 ]**

Kurusu Akira, as Ryuji quickly learns, is kind of weird.

‘What, Kurusu-kun? He sits behind me in class. He’s nice!’ At Ryuji’s incredulous expression, Ann insists, ‘No, seriously, he’s nice! Just a bit quiet, you know? Reads a lot. Keeps to himself. Good kid.’

‘You sound like some oblivious landlord housing a suspicious tenant.’

Perhaps Ann is the wrong person to ask. Ryuji runs a hand through his hair. She’s always been a terrible judge of character – or rather, too terribly kind. Everyone else he’s talked to has warned him to stay away from Kurusu.

_He got charged with battery and expelled from his old school, you know._

_It’s always the quiet ones you gotta watch out for – when he snaps, we’re all screwed._

_I heard he killed someone with his bare hands._

Ryuji glances over at Kurusu. He’s sitting in that same spot on the study bench by the window, looking more like a regular than a student librarian as he peruses a book he was supposed to put away – which apparently happens quite often, according to Ann, but she just leaves him be.

Under Ryuji’s watchful eye, he discovers that Ann is right: after a long stretch of silence, Kurusu seems to snap out of his reading stupor, scuttling off the bench and back to his previously-abandoned book cart. Once there, he’ll put books away again until another title catches his eye. If it piques his interest, he’ll stop to read the back cover; if it’s interesting, he’ll start reading the book, wandering back to his usual corner as he does – and the cycle repeats itself over the next couple of hours.

... It’s difficult to tell that he’s anything dangerous when he’s such a dork, to be honest.

Something else that Ryuji notices is that Kurusu spaces out a lot. Once in a while, he’ll stop reading to look out the window, eyes searching the grounds below, only to catch himself and resume his reading.

What’s up with that, anyway? It’s just a view of all the sports fields from the third storey.

Ah, he’s doing it again. It’s late in the evening, and the deep orange glow looks unusually breathtaking tangled in Kurusu’s curly hair. From this angle, Ryuji can only see his side profile, but there’s something about this scene, from the way he rests his cheek against his palm to the sunlight collecting under his eyelashes, that looks... gorgeous, really.

‘What are you looking at out there?’ The question is out of Ryuji’s mouth before he can stop himself, startling them both.

Kurusu doesn’t reply; he just stares for the longest time, eyes wide and lips parted, looking like a deer in the headlights – or rather, a mouse in a trap. Clearly he’s not comfortable with the whole situation. Ryuji opens his mouth, ready to give up and tell him to forget about it –

‘Ah, well...’ Kurusu wrings his fingers in his lap. His eyes are clear; his voice, steady. ‘It’s just a habit.’

Despite all the rumours and half-truths, despite his ill-concealed unease, he’d handled this interaction perfectly. Kurusu Akira may be kind of weird, but maybe there’s more to him than it seems.

_Please take care of me, Sakamoto Ryuji._

... And perhaps he should give Joker a chance, too.

.

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ YOOO WHAT_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ u like the phantom thieves of hearts series too??_

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ I mean... why else would I have been in the café...?_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ o right u saw me there lol. oops_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ but yeah i mean it couldve been ur sibling or smth, i dunno_

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ Well. My sister-at-heart likes the Phantom Thieves too, I suppose._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ ? sister at heart?_

_..._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ ur not gonna answer that, are u_

_..._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ so who is ur fav character from PT!!! _

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ Not Skull, clearly._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ EHHHHH?!?! JOKER U MEANIE (CRY) (CRY) (CRY) (CRY)_

.

火  
**[ days until end of punishment: 5 ]**

Ryuji smirks at his own response – and the multitude of crying stickers he’d sent for good measure – before tucking his phone away. Joker’s going to love _that_.

It’s been about a week since he started exchanging texts with Joker seriously, and Joker really is quite the character. On one hand, he’s awkward and bad with keeping up conversations; on the other, he’s mysterious and full of snarky comebacks. Sometimes he takes a while to reply, especially if it’s a topic he doesn’t want to elaborate on for privacy’s sake, but Ryuji doesn’t mind, since he can tell that Joker puts a lot of time and thought into his responses.

All in all, an interesting guy – _WOAH!_

Ryuji jumps when a black figure casually ghosts past his back. ‘Akira! You scared me!’

The black figure – Akira – stops walking. They’ve been talking a lot more ever since the whole window thing, so they’re on much friendlier terms now. ‘Oh. Sorry about that.’

‘Nah, it’s chill.’ Ryuji nods at the stack of books in Akira’s cart. ‘You found anything good today?’

From behind his glasses, Akira’s eyes take on a muted gleam.

Ryuji doesn’t get it, no, not really. He feels tired just from looking at his textbook in class, and the most he’s ever read in his life is a shounen manga series he’s been following for a long time. But just seeing Akira like this, bright and animated and passionate in his own little ways, even if Ryuji doesn’t get it – it makes him feel incredibly warm inside.

‘I really like crime stories like this,’ Akira says, a wistful note to his voice as he hugs a book to his chest. ‘I can see both sides of it, you know? The world isn’t as black and white as we like to think. Sometimes it’s just grey and grey, and we can only do the best we can with it.’

‘I see,’ Ryuji says, even though he really doesn’t. ‘Seems unique to the author.’

‘Not really, I know a few other works centred around it. I just read another one recently...’ Akira turns to look at the shelf behind them, eyes scanning the book spines quickly. ‘Where is it... E... Ennoshita... Ah! Found it.’ He reaches for a book on the top shelf, but comes up a little short. ‘Nn...’

Unfortunately for them, Ryuji’s the same height as him. ‘Hold on, I’ll go get the step-ladder.’

‘No, no, it’s okay! I almost got it.’ Akira reaches again, this time on the tips of his toes, and Ryuji finds his gaze drawn to the back of Akira’s nape leading down to his shoulders, down the curve of his back, down to his hem of his black blazer riding up, up, up –

‘_AH!_’

‘_Watch out!_’

_CRASH!_

Ryuji’s heartbeat hammers in his ears. Dimly he can hear the hushed whispers from students studying nearby and_ wow _his back kind of hurts in a few different places, but in that moment all he cares about is the boy curled under him.

‘Are you okay?’ Ryuji keeps his palms flat against the ground on either side of Akira’s body, supporting most of his weight with his hands as he gives Akira a quick onceover. It doesn’t look like he has broken bones or anything serious like that, thank god. ‘Are you hurt anywhere?’

‘No, I’m – I’m sorry. I’m alright,’ Akira squeaks, sounding a little breathless. ‘Are you?’

‘Yeah,’ he breathes, shoulders sagging in relief. Seriously, his heart almost stopped when that sudden avalanche of books tumbled down from the broken shelf. His body reacted on its own to shield Akira, but what if he hadn’t been there? ‘Guess we should’ve used that step-ladder, huh...’

‘I’m really sorry – ’

‘Dude, it’s fine – knowing my dumb ass? I probably would’ve done the same thing.’ He lets his forehead bump against Akira’s, a quiet sigh escaping him. ‘I’m just glad you’re safe.’

Huh. Akira’s lips look kind of full up close.

‘_Guys? What was that noise?_’ Ann hisses, suddenly appearing at the end of the aisle. They turn to look at her as she takes everything in: Ryuji seemingly pinning Akira to the ground, the broken shelf, books strewed all over the place.

Her expression goes blank for a second, before darkening several shades.

Oh, _shit_.

.

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ i still cant believe u tried to blackmail me into being ur friend lmao u weirdo_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ ur lucky its just me_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _Like I said, I didn’t think that far ahead. You’re plenty weird yourself._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ huh_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ why am i weird???_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _You could’ve dismissed the calling card as a bad prank, or ignored it altogether. Instead, you added your blackmailer on LINE and you’re still talking to them until now. Aren’t you busy with other things, like your school work or part-time?_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ heeeh. when u put it that way... i guess i am an idiot (laugh)_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _I wouldn’t go that far. It’s a good kind of weird._

.

土  
**[ day until end of punishment: 1 ]**

They say that rainy days make it easier to focus, but all it does is make Ryuji feel sleepy instead.

Takeda really is a hard ass. Ryuji huffs to himself as he reorganises some reference books in dictionary order. If Ann and Akira hadn’t backed him up, Takeda would’ve totally pinned the blame for the broken shelf on him and given him a third strike by now, knowing that shitty teacher.

He got his comeuppance in the form of Ann’s wrath, anyway. Ryuji rubs his wrists absently; while they aren’t _sore_ per say, he’s been re-shelving both his and Ann’s portion of the books for the past few days as a form of ‘bonus punishment’, and it’s still a lot, dammit. He still has homework to catch up on, and the new café menu to memorise before the promotion starts next week...

The rain is getting heavier now, as are his eyelids. In the corner where the wall and the bookshelf meet, Ryuji sinks into a crouch, closing his eyes as he listens to the soft pattering against the windows.

Surely no one would come by the aisle with all the dusty old newspaper archives, right?

...

It takes a while for Ryuji to register his surroundings when he stirs awake. Right, he was in the library, the rain was making him sleepy, and... and...

Wait, he’s not done re-shelving books for the day yet. Ann’s going to kill him.

Ryuji sits up quickly, blinking as something soft slides down his front.

‘A blazer...?’

He’d left his own school blazer in his bag since it was hot out before the sudden rainfall, which means this definitely isn’t his. The other students are too busy studying to pay him any mind, and the blazer looks way too big to be Ann’s, so that leaves –

Keeping the jacket close to his chest, Ryuji crawls over to the other end of the aisle and peeks out.

Sure enough, Akira is reading a book in his usual spot – sans his blazer.

Ryuji sits back against the bookshelf, unable to suppress his wide grin. It’s the first time he’s seen Akira without his blazer on, too, and the turtleneck-and-suspenders combination suits him surprisingly well – _oh, right, re-shelving duties_. Oops.

... Wait, where_ is _his book cart?

It takes a while, but Ryuji does eventually find it – not where he’d left it, but next to Ann’s behind the counter, clear of books and packed up for the day. When he accidentally makes eye contact with Ann herself, she sticks her tongue out at him.

Ryuji chokes back a laugh then, a wry smile on his face. He takes back what he’d said last week about the library duty punishment being boring as hell, because honestly?

After today, he’s going to miss this place a lot.

.

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ ehhhh? why??_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _I would like to help._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ by buying water for me??_

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ You said so yourself, right? It can help save you some money in the long run._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ i mean yeah but u dont HAVE to omg_

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ I want to. I want to be here for you, in any way I can._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ dude... thank u so much///_

** _skmtRYUJI: _ ** _wait how are u gonna get into the school_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ ull get caught for trespassing!! trespassing is a big no no!!!_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ o wait ur a student too nvm_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _Ryuji,,, , , lol_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ i sAID NVM RIGHT LOLOLOL_

.

水  
**[ days since end of punishment: 11 ]**

The starting gun goes off with a bang, and Ryuji takes off like a missile.

Perhaps it’s a little clichéd, but he doesn’t remember a time before running; he’s probably loved it all his life. It’s the wind in his face and the adrenaline in his veins, the way his feet lift off the ground with every step he takes and the illusion of flight, go on and spread your wings, if you run fast enough you’ll get there so run run _run_ no one can stop you now just keep _running_ –

In that moment, he is at peace with himself. In that moment, he is infinite.

It’s only when he crosses the finishing line that he starts to regain his senses again.

‘Nice work, Sakamoto!’ Tsukishima calls, and Ryuji instinctively raises a hand to meet his teammate’s in a high-five. ‘As expected of our team’s ace – you’re in such peak condition, it’s like you were never gone at all.’

‘Thanks, man. Definitely gonna crush it at Nationals this time, am I right?’

‘Just remember not to trip at the starting line like you did last year, okay,’ Yamaguchi teases. He cackles as he sidesteps a playful swipe from Ryuji, only to yelp when Ryuji manages to catch him in a headlock. ‘Noooo, I’m sorry! Let me live! _Let me live!’_

His teammates are as rowdy as ever. After waving them off, Ryuji heads over to a nearby bench, where a neatly-folded towel, a bottle of carbonated water and a familiar black-and-red calling card await him.

_You did well today, too._  
_We’re halfway through the week. Stay focussed._  
_ —Joker_

‘Stay focussed, huh.’ Ryuji cracks open the bottle, taking long, languid sips from it as he thinks back on the past week or so. If anything, his focus has been all over the place, more so now than ever.

It’s been more than a week since he last saw Akira. Well, no, that’s not right – he_ does _see him around in school, sometimes during lunch or between classes, but more recently before school starts as well, when he’s on the way to the running track for morning practice.

_‘I’m, ah... heading for the library,’_ is what Akira had told him when he’d asked. Akira’s the only person he knows who would wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to go and read _books_, honestly.

But that’s not the point. The point is, the most they can do is wave at each other and exchange brief greetings before having to move on. Ryuji sees him, yeah, but he doesn’t _see him_, if that makes sense. In a way, he’s kind of envious that Ann gets to share classes with Akira; hell, she sits in front of him in class. How’s that even fair?

It’s not like Ryuji doesn’t have Akira’s contact information, either. They exchanged email addresses a while back, so he can technically contact Akira anytime, but it’s just not the _same_. He misses their long talks in the library. Misses their quiet laughter in a shared space, the days where they sat together by the window after they were done with duties, soaking in the silence and the setting sun –

Most of all, he misses the comfort and freedom that being with Akira brings.

Ryuji’s gaze catches onto the calling card again. And then, of course, there’s Joker.

After track practice every morning, Ryuji would find a fresh white towel, a bottle of his favourite brand of carbonated water, and a calling card on the bench behind the clubhouse. It’s a very sweet gesture on Joker’s part, and Ryuji keeps every single calling card in his bedside drawer like precious treasures. They are, after all, the reason he’s been so motivated these days.

Everyone has expectations of ‘Sprintmaster Sakamoto’. He’s the ace, so of course he can beat all their best timings without trying. He’s the ace, so of course he’s in good condition, even after a long absence. He’s the ace, so of course he can’t live down past mistakes.

They don’t know about the extra practice he does on his own time, from strength training at home to endurance training at the gym. They don’t know about the grades he has to maintain to keep his sports scholarship, the part-time job he has to juggle to ease the burden on his mother, the bright and bubbly persona he has to put on even when he’s practically dead on his feet.

Joker is the only one to realise this. He listens to him without judgement, gives him the encouragement that no one else thinks he needs, and cheers him up with his good-natured sarcasm when he’s feeling a bit down. He’s done so much for him without asking for anything back, and Ryuji just wants to thank him in person – but this is his fourth or fifth time waiting for Joker here now, and he’s _still_ never seen him come by. It’s kind of frustrating, actually.

And yet, every time his phone beeps with a message on LINE, he can’t help hoping that it’s from Joker. He catches himself smiling like an idiot more often than not, and he rereads their chat history so often that he can probably recite some of their inside jokes by heart.

Ryuji lets out a slow exhale between his teeth as he crushes the empty bottle in his hand.

What is it about these two that throws his mind into complete chaos?

.

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ wait so ur LINE @ is based on a gentleman thief??_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _Yes. He’s a master of disguise, always hiding in plain sight. He may be a fictional character, but I aspire to be like him in many ways._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ bruh thats so fucking cool_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ what would u steal if u could??_

_..._

** _a.rsene: _ ** _Hearts, for starters._

.

日  
**[ days since end of punishment: 15 ]**

‘Hey.’

Ryuji doesn’t look up from his phone. Joker may be slightly more active on weekends, but his messages are so sporadic that Ryuji wants to reply as soon as possible before the conversation hits another lull.

His phone beeps again, this time with mail from Akira: it’s a picture of his cat being held up by a girl in a dark-green jacket with a fur-trimmed hood. Her head’s been cropped out, but it’s probably the little sister he often speaks of so fondly.

‘_Hey._’

After replying to Akira, Ryuji _finally_ puts his phone down. There’s a moment of silence as he sinks back into his chair, a drawn-out sigh escaping his lips, and then:

‘... Is it possible to like two wildly different people at the same time?’

From across the table, Ann stares. ‘_That’s_ what you dragged me out here for?’

‘You saw the screenshots I sent you, right?’

‘Yeah. You really text this Joker person a lot, Sakamoto. Like... _a lot_. Also, _“A true Phantom Thief in the making”_? _Really?_’

‘_He caught me off-guard, okay?!_’ Is he blushing? He’s totally blushing. Shit. ‘I mean, “stealing hearts”? What would _you_ say if that guy from Kosei High said that to you?’

‘_You leave Yusuke out of this!_’ Now it’s Ann’s turn to blush. ‘He’s just a friend.’

‘_What kind of friend wants to paint a nude of you?!_’

‘_YUSUKE. _Because he’s weird like that. _End of story_. Unless you want me to force-feed this drink down your throat.’ Ann dumps a third packet of sugar into her cup of coffee, smirking at the way Ryuji recoils in disgust. ‘Yeah, that’s what I thought. Where were we again? You being horny for two people. Right.’

‘I did _not_ say _“horny”_ – ’

‘It’s certainly possible,’ Ann continues, pointedly ignoring Ryuji. ‘One of my neighbours back in Finland had a few partners – two or three, I think? – and it worked out just fine. As long as everyone consents to being in that relationship, I don’t see why not.’

‘That’s for people in _Finland_,’ Ryuji points out. ‘I get what you mean, but it’s not for me.’

‘And that’s fine, too! But then you’ll have to make a decision.’ Ann leans back in her seat as she takes a sip of her coffee. ‘Who will it be, Sakamoto?’

‘I don’t _know_,’ he groans, allowing his head to fall against the table with a _thump_. Akira or Joker. Joker or Akira. He can’t choose. Please don’t make him choose. ‘You really think I’d call you out to meet like this if I knew, Takamaki?’

‘You mean you wouldn’t?’ When Ryuji lifts his head to glower at her, Ann rolls her eyes. ‘Just ask them out, bonehead.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t really get the full story, but you’ve only met_ one _person face-to-face, right? If you plan on going out with one of them eventually, you should at least make the playing field even, so... ask them both out. See what it’s like to go on a date with them, _then_ make a decision.’ She pauses. ‘Not two of them on the same date, obviously. _Separately_. Don’t be stupid.’

Ryuji lets the insult slide for once as he seriously considers her suggestion. Ann has a point – well, she usually does, but he’d never admit it – and it’s the best solution to his dilemma so far.

The idea of picking one over the other still makes his stomach churn, though.

Akira or Joker. Joker or Akira.

Ryuji holds his head in his hands. ‘If only they were the same person...’

.

** _a.rsene: _ ** _? Go out for tea?_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ yeah haha_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ u kno im not a big fan of coffee, but i thought we could like hang out together irl_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _I see. So basically you’re asking me out to metaphorical coffee._

** _skmtRYUJI: _ ** _yeah kinda!! its really no pressure tho_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ so what do u say?_

_..._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ joker?_

** _a.rsene:_ ** _ It’s very kind of you to invite me out, Ryuji. I really appreciate the thought. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to meet. Is it alright if we stick to texting instead?_

.

月  
**[ days since end of punishment: 16 ]**

Ryuji cracks open the bottle of carbonated water, chugging it all down as if it were draught beer. He’s not old enough to drink, of course, but he can still drown himself in his sorrows like a champ.

Joker rejected him. Then again, so did Akira. He’d spent so much time agonising over having to choose one over the other that it didn’t even occur to him it could’ve been _neither_. Ann would’ve laughed her ass off if she knew.

Unceremoniously, he drops the now-emptied bottle onto the bench; in one clean swipe, he snatches up the next one. He’d gone ahead to buy four more from the vending machine, in addition to the usual one that Joker leaves for him, and now that morning practice is over Ryuji is free to ruin his bladder and brood on his own before class starts.

Joker rejecting him doesn’t come as a big surprise, considering how intensely private he is as a person, but – _Akira?_ Ryuji doesn’t know what to think. Weren’t they having fun together? Weren’t they friends?

Or was it all just wistful thinking on his part, with Akira feeling pressured to follow along with his whims?

Was their friendship just one-sided from the very start?

The thought stings. Ryuji stares down at the liquid sloshing around in the bottle, as though the answers could be found in the bubbles floating up to the surface if he looked hard enough.

No. It can’t be true. If it were, then all those times that he approached him in the library, in the school hallway, in the morning before track practice – Akira wouldn’t have that smile on his face every time he saw him, shy and gentle like a flower unfurling in spring. It doesn’t make any sense.

... Then again, Akira always _did_ look a bit nervous whenever they ran into each other in the morning. Ryuji had thought that it was kind of weird, but eventually just chalked it up to Akira being jittery from the lack of sleep. Again, Akira is the only person he knows who would wake up at ungodly hours of the morning to go to the... to the library...

Wait a second.

... Is the library even _open_ this early in the morning?

Ryuji drops his third bottle onto the bench. Raises his head to look in the direction of the library, then at the running track – and furrows his brows in thought.

.

** _skmtRYUJI: _ ** _heyo!!!!_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ sflr omg i was thinking about a lot of things_

** _skmtRYUJI: _ ** _like seriously my brain almost exploded_

** _a.rsene: _ ** _Don’t worry about it. I should be the one apologising for making things awkward._

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ yeah about that_

** _skmtRYUJI:_ ** _ i know u said it would be better to stick to texting, but YOOO I FUCKING DISAGREE_

** _skmtRYUJI: _ ** _after all i finally realised smth important_

** _skmtRYUJI: _ ** _i really – _

.

‘ – like you, Akira.’

Akira snaps his head up from the message he’s reading, mind going blank, heart freezing in his throat.

Ryuji.

He’s here. He’s here. _He knows_.

He said – he said that he –

Akira’s cheeks feel hot, so hot, like his heart’s a live grenade and he’s going to spontaneously combust any second now, so he does the only thing he can think of: he takes off in a run, rushing past Ryuji and out the library and down the hallway.

‘Wh – _Akira!_ Akira, wait!’

_Are you stupid_, Akira scolds himself as students dodge left and right to get out of his way. _He’s the ace of the track team! You’re just a noodle who gets winded from climbing the stairs, do you honestly think you can outrun him, stupid, stupid, stupid – !_

How did Ryuji find out, anyway? He’d been so careful. He’d covered his tracks so well.

It’s over now. It has to be.

Miraculously enough, he manages to make it down two flights of stairs without tripping, even though he’s been skipping a few steps at a time. _I really like you, Akira. I really like you, Akira_. It keeps looping in his head, a broken record, and it breaks his heart, too. How could Ryuji possibly say that after being blackmailed, receiving gifts from a stalker-esque person _and_ getting turned down by the same person _twice_, surely Ryuji has to be making fun of him, he has to be –

‘_AKIRA!_’

Akira yelps as Ryuji tackles him from behind, sending them both tumbling down to the landing below. Did he just jump the whole flight of stairs? The absolute mad lad – that’s so reckless!

Still, Akira hates the traitorous part of himself that loves him all the more for it.

‘_Finally caught you_,’ Ryuji breathes. He pushes himself up, hands planted on either side of Akira’s body, and Akira’s mind immediately goes back to nearly three weeks ago, in the library with the broken shelf and the flecks of gold in Ryuji’s eyes. ‘You can’t just steal my heart and run away, you know.’

There he goes again. Akira sits up and avoids eye contact, trying to fight down a blush. ‘Jokes are only good if they’re funny, Ryuji.’

‘What makes you think I’m joking?’

Ryuji leans in; alarmed, Akira brings a hand up to keep him back. He marvels at the feeling of warmth beneath his fingers, the wild gallop of his heart in his chest. It could just be from the running, but...

A hand closes over his own. ‘I don’t know what’s the story behind your whole Joker thing,’ Ryuji begins, ‘but we can talk about that slowly at a later time. It’s totally cool.’ He squeezes his hand. ‘For now, just answer me this: did you reject me because of it?’

At Akira’s tiny nod, Ryuji seems to collapse onto himself. ‘_Oh, thank god_.’ Ryuji lets his forehead bump against his, relief palpable in the sag of his shoulders. ‘For a moment I thought we weren’t – I was just – I don’t know. I thought you hated me.’

‘What? How...’ Akira swallows thickly, like his mouth has been stuffed with cotton. With his voice close to a whisper and eyes hard like diamonds, he continues, ‘How could I ever hate you...?’

He’s probably loved Ryuji since the time he visited the Phantom Thieves café, noticing the way Skull’s smile seemed to brighten the whole place, clumsy yet brimming with sincerity. Or maybe before that, since the day he was leaving the library and noticed the commotion outside the student council room: the broken ceiling tile on the floor, the sheepish look of apology on his face.

Or perhaps from the very beginning, since the moment he looked out the window and found an angel so close to flight on the running track below, stealing his heart in an instant.

‘Rather than hate, I...’ Akira falters. In spite of all the books he’s read in his time as a student librarian, words have never been his strong suit – they’re more difficult now than ever, as Ryuji cups the side of his face and brings him closer. ‘Towards you, I... um, I...’

Ah. Ryuji’s lips are softer than he’d imagined.

.

月  
**[ day since start of relationship: 1 ]**

He’d been right: Akira’s lips _are_ kind of full – just like his heart right now.

Ryuji pulls away to breathe; he can’t seem to wipe the smile off his face. He’d spent all this time griping about having to make a choice or none at all, but really, his thinking had been _completely_ off by a good mile or two – at least until he got back on the right track.

It’s not Joker or Akira, but Joker _and_ Akira: one and the same, all the more to love, and Ryuji wouldn’t have it any other way.

‘So,’ he says, a playful gleam to his eyes. ‘How about that metaphorical coffee?’

.

**end. **

**Author's Note:**

> some stuff to tie things together:
> 
> \- in case u didn’t catch it, ryuji realised that akira was lying about going to the library in the morning (the library isn’t open that early; he’s actually going to school to leave all the stuff on the bench) and figured out why akira looked out the window so much (it’s right next to the running track, where he can see ryuji running during afternoon practice)  
\- ‘days since end of punishment’ more like ‘days since last seen akira’ amirite,  
\- in my hc akira treats futaba like a younger sister (hence the ‘sister-at-heart’ thing). she was also the one who suggested to blackmail ryuji into being his friend... they really have zero social skills lmao  
\- there was actually a scene where ryuji uses a book cart as a skateboard but that probably would’ve gotten him his THIRD strike in 0.0002 seconds hajshdskds
> 
> as a fun bonus, the extras are named after haikyuu characters... try and find em all :9c


End file.
